“Allan Kleynhans Speaks on Self-Love”

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In March, I attended an interactive lecture on the topic of Self-Love. Hosted by Love X London, it featured seven life coaches – male and female, of different nationalities and cultures, ranging from early 20s to early 50s – talking on and around the theme. While each speaker shone a light on a different part of the picture – vulnerability, confidence, shame, abandonment, judgement, decision-making, letting go – they all appeared to agree on at least one thing:

If we want to be successful in any area of our lives we need to begin by developing a more loving relationship with ourselves.

Why?

The theory is that if we can give ourselves unconditional love and acceptance then we won’t be endlessly seeking and needing that from others. If we already approve of who we are then we free ourselves from other people’s judgements.

We can then move through and beyond our fears of rejection, criticism and failure into positive, confident action – as independent people, rooted in our own sense of self-worth.

All seven speakers seemed to be suggesting that our level of success in life correlates directly with our level of self-esteem.

Allan Kleynhans

The speaker who really made me sit up and listen was the last one: Allan Kleynhans, a South African life and business coach, now based in the UK. Previously a soldier, drug addict and prison inmate – he is now an international speaker, facilitator and trainer, on a mission to help people maximise their full potential.

Michael-V-Roman-Photography

Allan Speaks

Positive self-talk

He was very hot on the practice of positive self-talk. He claims that for the past 17 years he has started each and every day with the following statement, spoken in his head or out loud, as soon as he opens his eyes:

Good morning, good morning

It’s great to be alive

Today is my favourite day

Thank you, I’m blessed.

He challenged us to look at ourselves in the mirror every morning, right in the eye, and to tell ourselves: ‘I love you, I accept you, I approve of you’, and to repeat that mantra as many times as possible throughout the day.

The self-love challenge

I’m not new to the use of affirmations but it was refreshing to hear about this from an ex-military man who claims to have seen and done some pretty awful things and who describes his pre-personal development self as ‘a complete arsehole’. Even now, he still has the look of a combatant and, one can easily imagine, a rather fearsome one in his day.

But he declares himself now as a deeply spiritual man and his message is all about love.

He struck me as a wonderful embodiment of the very principles and practices he teaches. Open, relaxed, confident, compassionate, clear, insightful, full of humility and humour – I felt viscerally impacted by what he had to say and how he said it.

He presented a very compelling and convincing explanation, and example, of what might be possible for anyone who is willing to do the work that self-love demands.

I am seriously considering taking up the challenge.

QUESTION: What are your favourite mantras & affirmations?

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