“What is Tantra, Really? #3”
I’d just come out of a 2-hour ‘Erotic Dance’ workshop for women and was sitting, sensuously sipping my soup, at a table with some new faces. It was October 2017 and I was at the London Tantra Festival, a weekend of workshops and talks presented by some of the most experienced and established teachers of the Tantra world. Now a biannual event, it attracts hundreds of attendees – seasoned practitioners and newbies alike – from London, the UK and beyond.
For Part 1 of my Tantra series, go to: What is Tantra, Really? #1
For Part 2 of my Tantra series, go to: What is Tantra, Really? #2
Tantra as a spiritual path
The ‘new faces’ turned out to be current students of Tara Yoga Centre, the organisation responsible for putting on the Festival. They also claim to offer the only weekly Tantra course in the UK. My lunch companions were in the 2nd and 4th year of ‘Intensive Tantra’, a course that has been running in London for nine years and in Oxford for five. I’d also recently bumped into an old friend who was now in his 6th year of the same course. All of them spoke highly of the school and the teachers.
I was ready to dip my toes in!
The Tantric path is like a heroic journey that takes us through unknown but remarkable territory inside our own being.
Tantra for the many, not the few
One of the first things that impressed me about Tara Yoga Centre was how affordable their courses were, compared to other Tantra teachers. With concessionary prices available to students, jobseekers and OAPs, as well as free drop-in yoga classes five times a week – they are making tantra and yoga accessible to a far wider section of society than I’ve ever seen done before.
They are able to do this because Tara Yoga Centre is a registered charity, with staff and teachers working for free – quite incredible, given the quality of the teaching – allowing all takings to be channelled back into the centre and its rich array of activities.
I took advantage of their introductory ‘TYC Unlimited’ offer and happily parted with £35 for a month’s worth of classes.
Tantra and the chakras
The essential goal of the Tantric path (and of any authentic spiritual system) is to reveal our true nature, which is the spark of God inside each of us – the Supreme Self.
Within a short time of starting the course I realised the uniqueness of what TYC was offering: not ‘Neo Tantra’ but traditional tantra, taught as a complete philosophy and comprehensive approach to living. Central to the first year of the course is Chakra Sadhana, a process by which all seven chakras are explored – in depth, one by one, for 5-7 weeks each – through tantric teachings and targeted yoga postures. For me, this was one of the most unexpected and illuminating aspects of the course: an opportunity to work through one’s entire structure (physical and energetic) to identify and begin to transform our individual limitations.
I’m here for the tantric sex!
One volunteer working on reception told me a funny story … of how a woman once waltzed into the centre, aflush with anticipation, loudly declaring: ‘I’m here for the tantric sex!’.
It didn’t sound like she stuck around very long. TYC have a way of weeding out those just looking for a fast-track to more or better sex. Even I was surprised – at my first tantra class – to find rows of yoga mats and two teachers talking chakras, mudras and asanas. Where was the eye-gazing? The slow hugs? The tantric touch? In year 1, at least, the emphasis seems to be on building better vitality, aliveness and awareness – as a foundation for all of life’s experiences. Students embark on their own unique path of discovery, tasked with working through any obstacles to health, happiness and pleasure.
Tantra is a science of direct experience par excellence. We do not ask anyone to ‘believe’ the information we present, but rather to practise the techniques, so that the questions you have will find the ultimate answers through direct experience.
A spiritual path that embraces the sexual experience
I have always been drawn to Tantra’s bold embrace of both spirituality and sex, but to be following a spiritual path that not only accepts sex but also honours, celebrates, elevates and improves it – is pretty mind-blowing, in my book.
The only time I’ve ever been frowned at, at TYC, is when I used the term ‘having sex’. I was quickly corrected: ‘In Tantra, we don’t have sex – we make love’.
It’s this complete openness about sex together with an unending focus on love and the heart that is such an incredibly beautiful breath of fresh air.
We can confirm that making love for hours at a time is not fiction, but a genuine art anyone can learn, provided that they are endowed with patience, tenacity and willpower. However, the aim in Tantra is not to demonstrate or exhibit our sexual abilities, nor to adopt spectacular and complicated lovemaking positions, but rather to bring more control, relaxation, beauty and transfiguration into lovemaking, in order to access sublime states of consciousness. Tantra does not aim to break records, but is a very direct method to manifest love.
Playing football without the goalposts
For this section, I want to retrieve the analogy used by my friend all those years ago – see Part 1 – when answering my question to him: ‘What is Tantra, really?’ What we are talking about is not football, of course, but sexual continence.
This is probably one of the most misunderstood aspects of Tantra so worthy of a paragraph here. I think the misconception is that the Tantric man abstains from orgasm and ejaculation as some kind of bizarre spiritual penance. In actual fact, he does not abstain from orgasm. He learns, through diligent practice, to separate the orgasm from the ejaculation so that he can make love for longer periods of time without losing his energy or erection. In the advanced stages, he is able to move beyond the point of no return to experiencing multiple orgasms and higher states of ecstasy with his lover.
Tantra teaches us – men and women – to become more aware of our sexual energy, to explore and enjoy it, and ultimately to draw this energy upwards towards the heart and higher chakras, for the upliftment of the whole being.
The couple relationship that is lived fully, with love, transfiguration and sexual continence, is an exceptional source of experiences of overwhelming intensity. When lived with total awareness, these experiences expand the consciousness of the two lovers, from the finite to the infinite.
To abstain or contain?
Sexual abstinence is well-known and widely-practised in different religious communities and churches around the world. I will leave others to judge for themselves how effective and healthy they think this has been, both individually and collectively. I won’t get into that here. Tantra tends to teach continence rather than abstinence. There’s an understanding that sexual energy is one of the strongest energies we can experience and that perhaps it’s better to put this to good use – to harness it as a gateway to higher states of being – rather than deny or suppress it.
Tantra is the spiritual path that teaches the true art of living and of saying YES to life in all its aspects.
Tantra as a fun, fulfilling, life-affirming and joyful way to meet and connect deeply with others
One of the most valuable things I’ve gained through becoming a student of Tara Yoga Centre is … a community. A spiritual community of men and women – singles and couples of all cultures and ages – connected through a shared weekly commitment and long-term process of transformation. And don’t be fooled into thinking it’s all practice and principles! TYC are also very good at creating plentiful opportunities to connect with others (cue: slow hugs!) at workshops, talks, film nights, retreats and themed parties. And having done two this year, I would say that retreats are what TYC absolutely do best.
Tantra as a spiritual path
In closing
TYC’s charitable status and ethos of accessibility have enabled me to make a commitment to Tantra this year that I would not have been able to do anywhere else. With my first year now complete, I am excited about moving into year 2 and continuing my journey. There’s much joy in connecting with so many lovely, like-minded people who share my core values of health, spirituality, sexuality, community, creativity, transformation, integrity and love … and much gratitude towards all the teachers, volunteers and fellow students that contribute to making Tara Yoga Centre the quite extraordinary place that it is.
Please add a rating above and any comments below.
All quotes from Tara Yoga Centre: Tantra Course, ATMAN Federation – reproduced with permission.
25 Comments
Tomas
Hello Tracy,
I just finished listening to your first two blogs about tantra and reading the third one. First of all, you are amazing writer, you have beautiful style that I can imagine resonates with many many people and their hearts. But I have to also admit that I was blown away by your audio tracks, your voice sounds like angel’s singing, it literally resonates with me as if listening to a symphony, and the way you narrate your words brings me so much joy, excitement and pleasure when listening. All three articles are lovely, I enjoyed them greatly and you got me hooked, now I’m excited and waiting for the next posts :-).
If I read your blogs before I joined Tara Centre in London, you would definitely have inspired and motivated me to come along and sign up. It’s amazing what you are doing for people by writing these articles, I’m sure it impacts many people in most positive ways and sets their path towards inner transformations and healing through tantra.
Tomas.
Tracy Starreveld
Thank you so much, Tomas.
I’m very touched by your lovely feedback – it really makes a difference and encourages me to keep writing!
Glad to hear you have enjoyed listening to the audible versions of my blogs too!
All the best with your own journey through tantra and yoga! : )
Lilith Perkins
I have really enjoyed reading all three blogs in this series and feel much more enlightened about Tantra. I really like the idea of a life affirming, fun, fulfilling and joyous spiritual path – sounds like something we all need more of in life! Thank you for sharing your experiences in such an open and honest way, it’s really brave, and a very engaging and refreshing read!
Tracy Starreveld
Hi Lilith
So happy to hear you got so much out of my little Tantra trilogy!
I set out to write something that would be an accessible and enjoyable introduction to Tantra.
Probably most of the people who have commented so far have been those already familiar with Tantra so it’s great to hear feedback from someone who is completely new to it.
My pleasure and thanks to you for taking the time to read and share all your responses.
Tracy : )
Eva
For a subject so misrepresented to the impatient and the curious, you do well to quickly dispel some of the myths and put some things to right about tantra.
Thank you too for making it easier for me to answer all those who ask me to “teach them” tantra once I mention that I’m into it: a link to this should do it 😉
The more I learn about tantra the more I know lies ahead; you’re right in saying this is a very personal spiritual path. Isn’t it what makes it so very special and alluring? Looking forward to more of your tantric discoveries…
Tracy Starreveld
Hi Eva
Thanks for taking the time to read and share your responses.
Much appreciated as always! : )
Yes, do feel free to share these posts with whoever you think may be interested – I’m certainly no Tantra expert though!
Tracy.
David McMahon
Thank you very much Tracy for sharing your Tantra experience. You have batted away some common misconceptions, highlighted several perhaps surprising benefits and described a personal journey in an eloquent, informative and entertaining way. All of which has made it possible for me to walk beside you and feel again my own first experiences of Tantra with Tara Yoga Centre.
I agree that anyone who thinks this Tantra school might be a fast track to super sex are soon disappointed and typically not seen again. The offer really is about the long game of learning to celebrate the moment we live in, opening to deep connection within ourselves and between each other and acquiring the confidence to say with each breath a very affirmative yes to life.
All that said, can I just check, I didn’t miss the class on five hour lovemaking with spectacular and complex positions did I? If I did, can you share the notes?
Tracy Starreveld
Wow – you write so beautifully, David! Perhaps you should be writing about it too…?
Thank you for the lovely, lovely feedback and no – don’t worry, you didn’t miss the 5-hour spectacular sex workshop!
Let’s hope that’s coming up in year 2! ; )
Andrew
Think the 5 hour lovemaking was flagged up by Foca in the last Vira group 🙂
Romilly
Having now read or listened to all three parts the first thing that struck me is you’re very talented Tracy!
Thoroughly enjoyed your way with words and loved your voice – seemed to be filled with fun and wisdom.
Thank you for dispelling some myths and distilling some of the beauty of this incredible spiritual path!
Tremendous gratitude for your vibrations in the broadest sense!
Tracy Starreveld
Hi Romilly
I’m delighted that you have enjoyed all 3 parts of my Tantra ‘trilogy’ – thank you so much for taking the time to read them all and respond so beautifully.
Makes it all worthwhile : )
Much gratitude to you too!
Tracy.
Bronia
Myth-busting, enlightening and an enjoyable read! Thanks for sharing your experiences Tracy and blessings on your continuing journey into this realm.
Tracy Starreveld
Hi Bronia
Thank you for your lovely comment and feedback – much appreciated!
Tracy : )
Malou
So wonderfully put. Thank you Tracy xx
Tracy Starreveld
Thank you Malou!
So happy you enjoyed reading my latest post.
Tracy : )
ben
Really enjoyed reading about your experiences with tantra – and looking forward to diving deeper into it myself.
Tracy Starreveld
Hi Ben
Happy you enjoyed it – and all the best with beginning your own Tantric journey!
Tracy 🙂
Letizia
Wow, so inspiring and so well written. I want to read more articles about this subject or different ones, I am addicted now 🙂 !
Tracy Starreveld
Ah – thanks Letizia for your lovely comments!
I have a feeling you would enjoy this one I published back in November – where I first mentioned Tantra and Tara Yoga Centre.
https://tracystarreveld.com/blog/relaxation-and-happiness/#more-2030
Tracy : )
Amelia
Great way to set the scene. Through this description…the picture you’ve painted…you’ve made tantra seem a lot more accessible than I ever would’ve previously imagined. Thank you!
Tracy Starreveld
Thank you again, Amelia, for taking the time to read and comment on all three of my Tantra posts.
I love hearing from readers – especially those who are new to my blog.
I’m really touched that you got something from reading them all.
I wish you all the best with your own journey – whatever that may be!
Tracy.
Jan
Tracy, what a delicate and sharp way to capture the essence of what this is about! Well done. xx
Tracy Starreveld
Hi Jan
Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my blog – and always good to hear from new people!
Feel free to subscribe via the right sidebar if you wish to receive new posts as they are published.
Warm regards
Tracy : )
Robin
What a wonderful introduction into the world of Tantra. I’m a little bit staggered at how you have taken your personal journey and made it so accessible (and fun), all while capturing the essence of something that seems quite challenging to convey. I’m very interested to see how you present other topics.
I also have so many questions and curiosity about Tantra now, fortunately I’m seeing someone dear to me this weekend who has a lot more experience in this domain than I do. Thank you for the excellent conversation primer!
Tracy Starreveld
Hello Robin,
Thank you for your lovely, positive feedback – I’m delighted to hear you found the blogs accessible and enjoyable.
I enjoyed writing them too; it was actually very useful for me to crystallise my own experiences and learning in that way.
Great that it’s also sparked your curiosity further.
I hope your ‘friend’ will be able to handle all your questions!
If not, feel free to post any here.
Tracy : )