“Middle Age, Money and Making Changes”

The Collins English Dictionary defines middle age as ‘the period in your life when you are no longer young but have not yet become old’. In other words, bad news swiftly followed by a sweetener – it could be SO much worse. Collins place middle age between the ages of 40 and 60, while the Oxford English Dictionary puts it slightly later, at ‘about 45 to 65′.

By either definition, it’s inescapable – I have now officially embarked on that merry midlife adventure.

The nature of middle age

‘Middle adulthood can be a time when a person re-examines their life by taking stock, and evaluating their accomplishments.’ – writes Wikipedia.

Since stepping through the oft-dreaded doorway of 40, I have frequently found myself chewing over the meat and bones of my life to see what kind of meal – or mess – I’ve made of it. What have I done with my life? Who have I become? And is that what I wanted, what I imagined for myself?

The life pie

One tool that’s been useful in this process is the Life Pie, something I first came across in Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way.

1. Draw a circle,
2. Divide it into 6, 8 or 10 segments,
3. Label segments according to the different areas of your life,*
4. Place a dot in each segment (centre = least fulfilled, outer edge = most fulfilled) to show the degree of fulfilment you experience in that area,
5. Connect the dots to see where your life might be lopsided.

*Eg: WORK, FINANCES, HEALTH, EXERCISE, RELATIONSHIP, FAMILY, SOCIAL LIFE, LEARNING, CREATIVITY, SPIRITUALITY.

Richard Pettitt – The Artist’s Way, Life Pie Task

This is a quick, effective way of gauging where you’re at, whatever your age and stage of life. So take a look at your life pie, and ask yourself:

• Where am I out of balance?
• How do I feel about that?
• And what, if anything, am I going to do about it?

Cameron writes: ‘Working with this tool, you will notice that there are areas of your life that feel impoverished and on which you spend little or no time.’ (page 58)

When I did this exercise again recently, I was really struck by the huge difference between certain areas of my life. I also rated each segment out of 10, with the one scoring lowest (3/10) being FINANCES.

Time and attention

I very much agree with Cameron when she says that it’s about time and attention. Because the areas of my life that have flourished are the ones I’ve regularly fed and watered.

The area that scored highest (10/10) was EDUCATION & LEARNING. Throughout my adult life, I have literally invested thousands of pounds and years of time and attention into this. I regularly read, do research, take short courses and workshops, re-train and try out new things – and feel like I’m in a constant learning process, which is incredibly fulfilling.

But clearly, not enough time and attention has gone into converting my many skills and passions into successful business ventures!

The choices we make and the choices we don’t

One advantage of middle age is, supposedly, the knowledge and wisdom we accrue through all our years of life experience. Some of my collected wisdom comes from a favourite book, Conversations With God, by Neale Donald Walsch:

‘Your own life is the way it is because of you, and the choices you have made – or failed to make.’ – Page 50.

We all start out in life heavily influenced by a whole array of different factors – including health and mobility, place of birth and parents, socio-economic status, as well as significant emotional events – all of which play a huge role in shaping us.

Clearly, not everything that happens to us is within our control, as the book goes on to explain. But we are in control of how we respond to these things. It’s how we respond that determines who we will become as a result.

What I am interested in, here, are those choices we begin to make for ourselves as we move into early adulthood.

Looking back, specifically in relation to money, it’s immediately obvious that the above quote rings true for me. I am an able-bodied, healthy, fully-functioning, intelligent and educated woman. There is absolutely no reason why I shouldn’t have the decent income and savings, private pension and property that many others of my age do have.

Values and priorities

So what makes us invest in some things and not in others?

Speaking for myself, I would say it has been my values, priorities and passions. It’s no coincidence that many of my peers, my creative friends especially, find themselves in similarly precarious situations with regards to money, because they share very similar values to me.

The real reason I don’t have financial security is because I haven’t chosen it, prioritised it or deemed it important – enough. Why would I give time and attention to something I don’t really value?

My Dad, the money and business man

My father was motivated by money – making money.

Always a business man, he started out selling insurance, mortgages and pensions – later switching to stationery and office supplies. He sold to clients, to businesses, to friends and family – whatever and wherever he could.

He tried repeatedly to get me to go into business with him but I couldn’t be tempted – money and business bored me. My first job was giving out motor insurance quotes to people dropping into his office on Saturdays, but that’s as far as it went!

What’s really interesting to me now is that my Dad’s priorities began to shift as he moved into – you’ll never guess – middle age! He stayed in sales, but switched to selling the one thing he was most passionate about – music. He set up three different record shops in the 1990s, two in the UK, one in Spain. None of them did well but he loved it: being in the shop, playing his favourite CDs and chatting to customers from behind the counter. He even started writing and self-publishing a small music magazine which he would send out to his regular customers.

Looking through the lens of middle age

I entered working life very focused on creativity, spirituality and personal development. I literally gave no thought to money, simply taking on different day jobs and doing my best to cover my costs. And my life has been a testament to that: I have experienced a lot of creative fulfilment and personal transformation. But money has not been taken care of.

So now, as I enter middle age, I find it’s my priorities shifting. Fulfilment is no longer enough. I would like financial security too – and it feels quite liberating to admit it. I want to make a living doing the things I love, so I don’t have to depend on things I don’t.

Looking at our lives through the lens of middle age can provide quite a unique perspective – not to mention, opportunity. We have many years of life experience and learning behind us, plus – if we’re very lucky – many more years of life still ahead.

The question is only: What are we going to do with it?

QUESTION: What are the things you have either valued or neglected, and does your life reflect that now?

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