Audible,  Dating, Relationships & Sex,  Humour,  Most Popular

“The Devil Wears Salvation Army”

Audible Blog

It strikes me that online dating past the age of 40 is rather like trying to find something nice at Cancer Research, Oxfam or Age UK. Let’s face it, you have to be willing to rifle through loads of old crap to find what you’re looking for – and there are NO guarantees.

On the hunt for something very specific?  Yeah – good luck with that.

Online dating & charity shops

Your chances of finding that petal-sleeved party dress in deep pink or dusky peach – in a size that fits and feels good – are practically zilch.

Go browsing with an open mind, however, with no agenda and plenty of time to kill and you might kick up the odd unexpected gem.

Warning #1: I did say ‘odd’.

There it is, not exactly what you were looking for but it has a certain je-ne-sais-quoi … or does it?

Warning #2: When entering a charity shop, your usual high standards will be hijacked. Your vision will blur and you’ll find yourself considering all sorts of specimens you would never normally look once at, let alone twice.

Online dating & charity shops

You select the item from the rail and wonder if it’s worth trying on.

You hover, hanger in hand, thinking of the organic oats you have to get from the health food shop before it closes.

You’re running out of time.

“Ok, I’ll give it a go,” you mutter under your breath.

You step into the changing cubicle and close the curtain.

It’s just you – and it.

You undress, leaving your clothes in a tidy pile on the stool beside you.

You remove the item gingerly from its slightly bent wire perch and hold it out in front of you, squinting and chewing on your lower lip. It looks limp and smells vaguely of moth balls and Eau de B.O.

This one has definitely seen better days but – don’t be so quick to judge! – you tell yourself. You’re on a low budget and this one is less than a fiver.

Warning #3: Watch out for the slippery slope between open-mindedness and desperation.

Two minutes later and you’ve got it on.

You stare, grim-mouthed, in the full-length mirror.

Verdict?

It’s hideous.

What the hell were you thinking?

 

QUESTION: Is there a difference between having standards and being picky?

If you enjoyed this post – please rate it above, share it via icons below, subscribe via right sidebar, or post a comment!

Click here for more AUDIBLE posts

Click here for more on DATING & RELATIONSHIPS

2 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *