“Reversing the Golden Rule”
Many religions and cultures teach the principle of treating others as you would want to be treated yourself: ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ – I believe the saying goes.
If you’re a nice person, you’re probably already doing that – right?
But what about the other way round?
How many of us are treating ourselves with the same care and attention that we treat our nearest and dearest?
We tell our partners to get some rest when they’ve been working too hard. We tell our children they’re beautiful. We remind our closest friends how amazing they are in their moments of self-doubt.
But what are we telling ourselves?
How kind, how loving are we – in our relationship with Number One?
Self-talk, self-harm, self-love
If truth be told, most of us are probably telling ourselves things we wouldn’t dream of saying to a loved one.
- You idiot
- You’re bloody useless
- You always screw up
- You’re an absolute disaster
- You’ll never be good enough
- You’re pathetic
And what of our actions?
What do they reveal about our relationship with ourselves?
- Do we abuse our bodies with food, drugs or alcohol?
- Do we choose to stay in jobs that make us miserable?
- Do we hang out with people who constantly criticise us?
- Do we pick lovers who are incapable of loving us?
- Do we hide our true selves from the people in our lives?
- Do we refuse offers of help when we arguably need it the most?
We don’t have to be cutting our forearms with a razor to be ‘doing ourselves in’. There are many points on the spectrum between self-harm and self-love.
But what would happen if we were to apply this reversed ‘golden rule’ to all of our thoughts, words and deeds?
What if we were to truly make a commitment to treating ourselves, always, as we would a most cherished child, partner or friend?
How would that look?
And what – in our lives, in our behaviour – would have to change?
QUESTION: What thoughts, words and behaviours might you have to let go of, in order to have a more loving relationship with yourself?
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