“Life Coaching and Accountability”
Between June and August this year, I took a series of 1-1 sessions with a life coach. Since then – I’ll admit it – I’ve gone a bit accountability-bonkers! Accountability was my missing piece of the puzzle, you see. I blame it on my relationship status. There is an incredible freedom in being single, oft-admired by our coupled counterparts, especially those with young kids. But there is a dark side to that freedom. I will call it ‘festering’ – I’m a sucker for alliteration.
Accountability and relationship status
When you’re single and living alone, nobody sees how much butter you spread on your toast; how many episodes of Game of Thrones you can gallop through in one sitting; or how many times in a year you actually get round to mopping your kitchen floor. Bad habits settle in, fester – and go unchallenged.
The bad habit I was hoping to shrug off on starting these sessions was my caffeine addiction. I’d given up coffee about 15 years before but had developed an unhealthy attachment and intolerance to caffeinated tea. I seemed incapable of drinking it in moderation – even though it was giving me headaches, anxiety and extreme fatigue. I had also lost count of how many times I had given it up over recent weeks, months and years, only to go back on it at the first sign of stress.
Definition of insanity
These failed attempts did nothing for my self-esteem. I kept thinking of that definition, often attributed to Einstein, that insanity is ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’. There had to be a better, easier way of giving something up than just picking a date (usually the 1st of the month!) and hoping my willpower would see me through. Writing my 9th and 10th blog posts on my obsessive and slightly-insane relationship with tea turned out to be the first step in letting it go. But the life coaching is what supported me to stay off it.
BLOG #9: Me and Rosie Lee
BLOG #10: Making Tea the Proper British Way
Definition of accountability
The Oxford Dictionary defines accountable as ‘required or expected to justify or explain your actions or decisions’. Other words for accountable might be responsible, liable, answerable or chargeable.
There is a common tendency among us ‘lesser mortals’ – to do (or not do) what we think we can get away with. If nobody sees, if nobody knows – then it doesn’t matter, right? But what’s this really about? Is it laziness or lack of self-worth?
Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to results.
~ Bob Proctor
My personal experience of life coaching
I first heard Harriet Waley-Cohen speaking at a LOVEx event on happiness, and really liked what she said about the importance of being ‘in total partnership’ with ourselves. I realise now that what had initially inspired me about her talk is exactly what I gained from our work together. There were certain key areas of my life that were feeling stuck and I was tired of repeatedly trying and failing to change them. Giving up tea was just one challenge I had in one area – health. I also wanted to shine a light on my work, career and relationships. Harriet described herself as a ‘Health and Well-being Coach’ – but was happy to coach me on anything I brought to the sessions.
We started by clarifying which goals I wanted to work on. She invited me to be really honest with her about what I wanted and what obstacles might be in the way. At the start of each session we would review my action points from the previous time, then set new ones.
The regular sessions, along with the texts and emails we exchanged in between, gave me the accountability and support I was needing. Harriet’s feedback, questions and suggestions helped me to identify blind spots and make connections between things. She would offer her input, while also allowing me to act on my own deeper instincts. All of this, along with the investment of time and money, really made me get behind my goals – with much more consistency and commitment than I’d ever had before.
“The secret to change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new.”
~ Harriet Waley-Cohen
The benefits of life coaching:
- Accountability
- Feedback
- Focus
- Guidance
- Support
- Trust
In closing
Needless to say, it’s essential that you find the right person to coach you. Harriet was warm, kind and encouraging – with a good sense of humour, which is just what I needed. I also wanted to work with a woman.
Many life coaches have specialisms, e.g: health, business or relationships. Shop around to maximise your chances of finding someone who is a good match for you and your budget. It will likely be a significant investment of your resources; it doesn’t have to be long-term but if it works out well you could find the benefits extend far beyond the end of the payment period.
QUESTION: In which areas of your life might you benefit from some accountability?
The Coaching Academy – What is Coaching?
Life Coach Directory – Find a Business or Life Coach near you
Animas Centre for Coaching – What is Transformational Coaching?
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