“Manifesting a New Mate”
In July I attended an interactive lecture, hosted by LOVEx LONDON, entitled How Do We Create Deep and Meaningful Relationships? It took place at the Hilton Hotel, in Green Park, and featured six speakers, mostly life coaches. After they had each spoken, the audience had a chance to ask questions in the final Q & A segment. What I am focusing on here is the answers and information I received from four of them to the one question that was uppermost in my mind at that time:
“As a single person, what can I do to attract a new partner into my life? Given a relationship involves another AND we have no control over other people, what can we do that IS within our power?”
OLGA FRANKOW: Life & Relationship Coach for singles and couples, Speaker & Blogger.
“Are you willing, are you ready to include a partner in your life? Is a significant other even included in your vision of your life?”
MANIFESTING A NEW MATE – Olga speaks:
I believe it’s to do with our thinking and our daily routine. It’s these two things that often explain how one person can be struggling to find a relationship while another seems to always have a queue of interested candidates.
Firstly, our thoughts define our reality, so if you believe that you are not (fill in the gap)……… enough to be loved, or that there are no good men or women out there, and constantly re-play that story in your head – this will be a big trigger for you to not attract anyone.
Routine is the second part of the equation. If your daily life consists of going to work and then watching TV at home, or if you are too busy with your own/family activities which are consuming most of your time, the likelihood of you meeting someone really goes down.
How to turn this around:
- Stop trying to control the process and just let go.
- Check in with the thoughts and beliefs you have about relationships. Change them to more positive ones and free yourself from any past negative relationship experiences.
- Create a routine that increases your chances of meeting someone. Explore new hobbies, new social groups, meet new people and have fun. As much as online dating’s popularity is growing, the majority of couples still meet through common friends.
PERSIA LAWSON: Author, Speaker, Millennial Dating Expert & Love Coach.
“Focus on feeling good, having fun and being present. Let life take you!”
MANIFESTING A NEW MATE – Persia speaks:
- How would you live your life today if you knew for certain that in a year from now you would be with the love of your life? I imagine you would aim to be super present and have as much fun as possible. This is the best way to attract your soulmate: live wholly and fully for you in the NOW, instead of wishing away your single life as though it were some sort of purgatory!
- Get super clear about how you want to feel in a relationship, and then do daily activities that will help generate that feeling within yourself. Eg: if you want to feel loved and inspired, what can you do each day to help you feel those things in your life – as it is now?
- Create more romance in your single life by going on ‘romantic’ dinner dates with your friends – you don’t need to have a sexual element to create romance! It’s about connection, and the more you can generate that energy on a regular basis, the faster you’ll attract a partner who will match the vibrational frequency you are giving out.
DILARA TETIK: Transformational Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker and Humanitarian.
“Don’t attach your thoughts and feelings to any particular person, at first. Stay open.”
MANIFESTING A NEW MATE – Dilara speaks:
It doesn’t matter what you are trying to manifest – whether it’s money, success or a relationship – it’s the same process. It starts with you. Just because a relationship involves another person does not make the process any different. Do not focus or fixate on others, focus on yourself.
JULIA CAMERON DE VILLIERS: Writer, Conscious Jewellery Designer, Speaker & Blogger.
“It’s all about trust, faith and focus. Focus on the feeling, focus on the knowingness.”
MANIFESTING A NEW MATE – Julia speaks:
I can tell you about what I was doing before I met JP which I think really helped. I had got into the personal development journey a few years back, and had hit the ground running. I discovered the law of attraction and the teachings of Abraham Hicks, who became my go-to guru, if you like.
I started to generate this really high vibration energy, by doing as much as I could to focus on the positive and to feel good. I was writing down all the attributes of the person I wanted to call in, imagining what he would be like. I had this sense that something big was going to happen. It’s like, I knew it was going to happen – I was feeling this excited energy all the time. I was doing visualisations, feelingizations – almost feeling like someone was there. It was quite intense – that time before I met him. And literally within weeks of refining that process, I met JP.
Definition of ‘feelingization’
This is what I would recommend:
- Get yourself into a high vibration. Like attracts like, so embody the feeling of what you want to attract. Eg: if you want to meet someone who is kind, loving and fun – also be those things.
- Don’t focus on the ‘how’ too much – just trust the universe will deliver it to you at the right time. Be relaxed in the knowing that it will come.
- Fill up your own cup, fall in love with yourself.
- Be open to limitless possibilities.
QUESTION: What success have you had in using the law of attraction to bring more of what you want into your life?
Further Information:
Is there Scientific Evidence Behind the Law of Attraction? – 6 min VIDEO
Law of Attraction & the Reticular Activating System – 3 min VIDEO
Law of Attraction & Quantum Physics – 5 min ANIMATION
Abraham Hicks, On Proving Law of Attraction – 9 min VIDEO
The Magic of Manifestation – Brandon Olivares – ARTICLE
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2 Comments
Chris
Interesting stuff, but I find the responses a little over-simplistic and too emphasising of the ‘immediate’ and the ego-self. Perhaps not surprising as the advisers all seem to be of the life coach variety.
I have been very influenced by a book by Meg Barker, ‘Re-writing The Rules’ [of love, sex, relationship, gender]. Meg contextualises relationship (of all kinds) with the historic and subliminal messages we receive about relationship and encourages us to question them, and find our own rules about what fits. She is a practising psychotherapist and writer, and I find her writing very refreshing and accessible. She has also written about relationships in different cultures, polyamory, polygamy, and gender spectra. Have a look!
Tracy Starreveld
Hi Chris – thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts.
Sounds like the content and flavour of the speakers’ contributions were not chiming with your style or view of things. Glad to hear you’ve found something that did – I shall make a note to check out that book.
All the best,
Tracy.